Alienology - Tales from the Void
Another anthology with a piece of my work in it turned up in my post office box this week. As usual, it had been opened up and inspected by the government censors; they re-sealed it with sellotape and left their official stamp on the envelope
Not being the most prolific Sci-Fi writer, I was quite surprised that my story The Conservators made the cut for the Library of Horror's Alienology anthology. Not to give too much away, the story's an examination of how mankind never learns, even after poisoning his planet and being given another chance by a benevolent race of aliens.
Or are they as benevolent as they seem?
Map of Australia
In my opinion, limericks get a bad press. They're seen as crude - vulgar, even; and there's a school of thought which maintains that the only true limerick is a 'dirty' limerick.
A successful limerick however, clean or dirty, involves a lot of skill in the writing. Firstly, you have only five lines to play with (usually between 20 and 30 words), and a specific rhyme scheme and rhythm. Also, a limerick has a lot in common with a good joke. The beginning sets the scene, the middle develops the storyline and the end is the punchline. Below is one of my clean limericks which appears on my website's limericks page and on the website for clean limericks, Funny Limericks for Everyone:
Angry Wife Limerick
In fury my wife said, “I’ll nail yer,
for being in life such a failure.”
Then she savaged my ear
with her teeth till I fear
it now looks like a map of Australia.
Although some of the limericks published on the Funny Limericks for Everyone site don't scan as well as they might or fall a bit flat, there is the occasional gut-buster. Check it out - and check out my limericks page, too:
Up to Mischief!
Another acceptance came in this week. My 'Lost' Canterbury Tale, The Summoner's Second Tale, is to be published by the Library of Horror in their Hellology - A Devil's Dozen anthology.
The 4,000-word poem/story is an expansion on a 250-word flash written a year or so ago, and will be published under the more reader-friendly title of The Ballad of Mal and Pert.
The brief of the anthology was to write a story featuring the Devil. In The Ballad of Mal and Pert, Satan's up to mischief trying to trick St. Peter into letting him through the pearly gates.
If you want to find out more, well, you'll have to buy the anthology. Details to follow in due course!
The cover to the eagerly awaited anthology of 'bacon' horror stories (yes, you are reading correctly), titled Baconology, was revealed a couple of days ago - and what a marvellous cover it is.
I did suggest to the editor that the anthology's secondary title could be "Sizzling 'Rashers' of Horror", but apparently the word 'rasher' isn't in common use in the U.S.; so 'strips' it is!
My own story, The Smell of Bacon, is included. There are also several intriguingly titled stories I can't wait to have a look at, i.e. The Bacon Cometh, Sisters of Bacon and BaconBoy Bob and the Alien Invasion.
I get the feeling this will be a weird and wonderful anthology.
Paul A. Freeman
Paul A. Freeman is an English instructor working in Abu Dhabi, in the Middle East. He lives there with his wife and three young children.