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Olympic Limericks

7/31/2012

Ye Shiwen - Chinese Swimmer

Well, the Olympics have started and in moments when the muse has struck me I've written a few limericks. The first was based on a news story which said that if the weather was cold and rainy, the beach volleyball ladies might not be wearing bikinis - perish the thought:

At the Twenty-Twelve Games I’ll see red,
If beach volleyball’s fun is struck dead.
The ladies, those meanies,
Might sideline bikinis -
Let’s hope it’s wet T-shirts, instead.

http://uk.eurosport.yahoo.com/news/weather-force-beach-volleyball-cover-095423853.html

The second limerick followed reports that from certain seating areas in the Aquatic Centre it would not be possible to see much of the diving:

I joined the Olympiad bash
for the diving and paid loads of cash.
But I found that my pew
had a terrible view
and all I could see was a splash.

http://uk.eurosport.yahoo.com/blogs/londonspy/refunds-offered-restricted-view-diving-tickets-104815294.html?bcmt_s=e

The third limerick is about the USA swimming coach who raised questions about a young Chinese swimmer's 'unbelievable' performance in the pool. Presumably he wasn't that concerned about Michael Phelps's 'unbelievable performance in the previous Olympics:

The coach of the USA gapes,
coz his team, in the pool, look like apes.
It's losing that bugs,
so he blames it on drugs
as he chews on those sour Chinese grapes.

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/row-erupts-over-chinese-swimming-sensation-051322966.html

As a bonus, there was a strange story from Euro 2012 which caught my eye and set the muse in motion - about the Swedish goalkeeper's buttocks being used for target practice! And I'm not making this up.

I saw something terribly rum -
a keeper whose buttocks were numb.
For latest reports
say he pulled down his shorts
for his teammates to shoot at his bum.

http://uk.eurosport.yahoo.com/14062012/58/euro-2012-swedes-sorry-aiming-goalie-bum.html?act=new-comment&res=ok#co

Well, that's about it for now. More news on The Weaver's Second Tale next week.

Below are links to my two Global Short Story Competition winners, my short-listed story for the National newspaper, Abu Dhabi, and my Canterbury Tale published by Coscom Entertainment:

http://coscomentertainment.com/?p=159

http://www.globalshortstories.net/winningstoriesjuly09.pdf

http://www.globalshortstories.net/winningstoriesdec09.pdf

http://www.thenational.ae/arts-culture/short-story-a-day-for-decisiveness

Happy writing!

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The Weaver's Second Tale - Friar Ted Arrives on the Scene

7/18/2012

1 Comment

The Miller

When it comes to research for a story, I'm a bit of a minimalist. The way I look at it, facts can get in the way of imagination - or maybe I'm just a bit lazy. Anyhow, the problem is that once you start researching a topic, you end up with tonnes of data and there's the temptation to shoehorn it into your story.

So what's the point? Well, I needed to know if bagpipes existed in medieval times, and strangely enough, the earliest mention of them in England appears to be from Chaucer's General Prologue, which says of the Miller:

A baggepipe wel koude he blowe and sowne,
And therwithal he broghte us out of towne.

Getting back to my Weaver's Second Tale, written in the style of a Sherlock Holmes story, Arthur Conan Doyle often had Holmes make reference to a previous case early on in his stories. So I decided to do the same. Below is that 60-word section, with Friar Ted arriving on the scene and explaining to Doctor Weston what he's been up to:

“Myself? I’ve been residing with the Thane
Of Ayr who was afflicted by the bane
Of other-worldly bagpipes late at night.
The purpose was to cause a fatal fright,
To scare the man to death whilst in his bed
By cunning use of superstitious dread.
The culprit I unmasked within a day -
No more am I at liberty to say.”

More news on The Weaver's Second Tale next week.

Below are links to my two Global Short Story Competition winners, my short-listed story for the National newspaper, Abu Dhabi, and my Canterbury Tale published by Coscom Entertainment:

http://coscomentertainment.com/?p=159

http://www.globalshortstories.net/winningstoriesjuly09.pdf

http://www.globalshortstories.net/winningstoriesdec09.pdf

http://www.thenational.ae/arts-culture/short-story-a-day-for-decisiveness

Happy writing!

1 Comment

The Weaver's Tale - Main Characters Introduced

7/12/2012

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Slowly but surely, The Weaver's Second Tale is coming along. Since it's a crime story, one of the biggest challenges has been the initial introduction of the characters who will become suspects at a later point in the tale.

A major difficulty is to make the introductions brief, yet memorable, a challenge made doubly difficult by the fact that the story is a narrative poem. However, although the writing is slow, I feel I've succeeded in sketching three-dimensional characters in as few a words as possible.

Below is part of the description of Earl James of Perth's son:

This sullen boy, clept Andrew, stayed detached
From other lads, yet grew to be unmatched
In horsemanship and battling with a sword;
Then adolescence guided him abroad
In search of wilful lasses living near
The castle gate, or else to hunt for deer
Amongst the forest trees, till every day
Was spent pursuing one of either prey.

By next week, I hope to report on murder being done - in my story, that is.

Below are links to my two Global Short Story Competition winners, my short-listed story for the National newspaper, Abu Dhabi, and my Canterbury Tale published by Coscom Entertainment:

http://coscomentertainment.com/?p=159

http://www.globalshortstories.net/winningstoriesjuly09.pdf

http://www.globalshortstories.net/winningstoriesdec09.pdf

http://www.thenational.ae/arts-culture/short-story-a-day-for-decisiveness

Happy writing!

0 Comments

Sherlock Holmes Canterbury Tale - Friar Ted Rides Again - The Weaver's Second Tale

7/3/2012

3 Comments

Fat Friar

Whoops! A month since my last posting. Naughty, naughty!

Anyhow, I've just started on The Weaver's Second Tale. The Weaver is one of Chaucer's 'orphan pilgrims', i.e. he doesn't get to tell a Tale in The Canterbury Tales and doesn't appear in any verbal interactions, prologues or epilogues.

From my point of view, the orphan pilgrims are very useful. Although they are described physically (or rather sketched), their characters are not fleshed out, leaving them as 2-dimensional figures that I am at liberty to expand on more or less as I like.

My Weaver's Second Tale will feature Friar Ted, the sleuth and wandering, medieval monk who appeared in The Doctor of Physics Second Tale. This new Tale will also see the reappearance of the unnamed Doctor who helped Friar Ted unravel the mystery of a blugeoned stranger's death in the previous Tale.

Since the plot of The Weaver's Second Tale involves both Friar Ted and the Doctor being constantly in close proximity, I've therefore decided to write the story in the first person, from the point of view of the Doctor, in a similar style to Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes stories.

Below is the first eight lines:

By thirteen fifty-six I’d been retired
For sev’ral years and ardently desired
Before my joints and acumen seized up
To travel to exotic realms and sup
With learnéd scholars, knights and kings and queens,
To ponder panoramic, foreign scenes.
So once spring’s thaw set in, I ventured forth
Upon my ancient nag and headed north.

That's it for this week. I'll keep you informed of my progress.

Below are links to my two Global Short Story Competition winners, my short-listed story for the National newspaper, Abu Dhabi, and my Canterbury Tale published by Coscom Entertainment:

http://coscomentertainment.com/?p=159

http://www.globalshortstories.net/winningstoriesjuly09.pdf

http://www.globalshortstories.net/winningstoriesdec09.pdf

http://www.thenational.ae/arts-culture/short-story-a-day-for-decisiveness

Happy writing!

3 Comments

Olympic Limericks

The Weaver's Second Tale - Friar Ted Arrives on the Scene

The Weaver's Tale - Main Characters Introduced

Sherlock Holmes Canterbury Tale - Friar Ted Rides Again - The Weaver's Second Tale

Paul A. Freeman

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