Initially the scandal seemed somewhat comical, and as I jogged round the local park, I wrote out the limerick below in my head:
Some people might claim that a horse
should not be served up as main course.
But swapping of stable
for restaurant table
is fine if you’ve got the right sauce.
A couple of weeks later, as more and more food-making companies became implicated, DNA-testing of hamburgers hit the headlines. Once again, while I motivated my carcase to move above a walk, I filled in the time sketching out a limerick:
Some customers say, "It's okay
if my food contains horse meat, but, hey!
Do laboratory tests
cover traces of pests
such as cockroach and rat DNA?"
Lasagne and shepherd’s pie were next on the suspect list, and the word ‘shepherd’ became the catalyst to the next limerick. I’m sure Hannibal Lecter would approve:
Though some types of meat may be cheap,
over eating a horse I lose sleep.
And each time I try
to eat shepherd's pie,
I keep wond'ring, ‘Who's minding the sheep?'
In the news this morning, a food-making firm I associate more with fish than with red meat came under the spotlight. So I put on my running shoes and came up with another cannibalistic limerick:
Some food-making firms have done wrong
selling mislabelled meat for a song.
And one taste that lingers
is that of fish fingers -
I wonder to whom they belong.
And Mr Lecter, if you’re not enamoured with the last two limericks – bite me!
Below are links to my two Global Short Story Competition winners, my short-listed story for the National newspaper, Abu Dhabi, and my Canterbury Tale published by Coscom Entertainment: