The first was in response to the extortionate price of Easter eggs. The second was inspired by an article about a naturist golf course, and the third was put on the Yahoo comments in reply to an article about gay churchmen. The fourth - and possibly the most contraversial limerick - is about the Titanic; though if anyone does get upset, I'm sure it's because they've been influenced by the film rather than a 100-year-old tragedy.
Chocolate eggs cost a shedload of money,
So I don’t find the end of Lent funny;
When I gain several pounds
Coz the chocolate abounds
I could strangle that darned Easter Bunny.
There once was a well-endowed dude,
Who liked to play golf in the nude
Till a short-sighted dog
Took a shine to his log
And the end of his putter got chewed.
A jovial priest, Father Ray,
Told his shocked congregation, “I’m gay.”
The churchfolk got snappy,
Then learned ‘gay’ means ‘happy’,
And suddenly ‘gay’ was okay.
Titanic’s proud captain decried
lack of speed as he headed Stateside.
Then the lookout, with zest,
shouted from the crow’s nest,
“There’s an iceberg ahead – pimp my ride!”
Below are links to my two Global Short Story Competition winners, my short-listed story for the National newspaper, Abu Dhabi, and my Canterbury Tale published by Coscom Entertainment: