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Limericks - Titanic, Easter, and More...!

4/25/2012

Easter Bunny

Not a lot's been happening on the writing front this week, so I thought I'd post some of the limericks I've written over the past month or so:

The first was in response to the extortionate price of Easter eggs. The second was inspired by an article about a naturist golf course, and the third was put on the Yahoo comments in reply to an article about gay churchmen. The fourth - and possibly the most contraversial limerick - is about the Titanic; though if anyone does get upset, I'm sure it's because they've been influenced by the film rather than a 100-year-old tragedy.

Chocolate eggs cost a shedload of money,
So I don’t find the end of Lent funny;
When I gain several pounds
Coz the chocolate abounds
I could strangle that darned Easter Bunny.

There once was a well-endowed dude,
Who liked to play golf in the nude
Till a short-sighted dog
Took a shine to his log
And the end of his putter got chewed.

A jovial priest, Father Ray,
Told his shocked congregation, “I’m gay.”
The churchfolk got snappy,
Then learned ‘gay’ means ‘happy’,
And suddenly ‘gay’ was okay.

Titanic’s proud captain decried
lack of speed as he headed Stateside.
Then the lookout, with zest,
shouted from the crow’s nest,
“There’s an iceberg ahead – pimp my ride!”

Below are links to my two Global Short Story Competition winners, my short-listed story for the National newspaper, Abu Dhabi, and my Canterbury Tale published by Coscom Entertainment:

http://coscomentertainment.com/?p=159

http://www.globalshortstories.net/winningstoriesjuly09.pdf

http://www.globalshortstories.net/winningstoriesdec09.pdf

http://www.thenational.ae/arts-culture/short-story-a-day-for-decisiveness

Happy writing!

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Canon's Yeoman's Second Tale - Done!

4/18/2012

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The Canon's Yeoman

It took a week to deconstruct, rewrite and reconstruct the last third of The Canon's Yeoman's Second Tale (Why don't I just call it The Yeoman's Tale?), but I managed it.

Iambic pentameters tend to give a piece a jovial feel to it, so from the beginning I was at a bit of a disadvantage. That said, the problem was with the rambling, philosophical exposition that came into play in the last third of the Tale.

That's been dealt with now and a suitable twist or two has been added to the story.

The rewrite also gives me the chance to submit to my PhD tutors a flawed piece of work, plus the repaired piece.

Anyhow, all's well that ends well, as my old chum Shakespeare would have said.

Below are links to my two Global Short Story Competition winners, my short-listed story for the National newspaper, Abu Dhabi, and my Canterbury Tale published by Coscom Entertainment:

http://coscomentertainment.com/?p=159

http://www.globalshortstories.net/winningstoriesjuly09.pdf

http://www.globalshortstories.net/winningstoriesdec09.pdf

http://www.thenational.ae/arts-culture/short-story-a-day-for-decisiveness

Happy writing!

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Salvaging a Canterbury Tale - Victory from the Jaws of Defeat?

4/11/2012

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Medieval Manuscript

As part of my PhD in Creative Writing, I'm penning (or 'quilling') long narrative poems set in the Middle Ages - similar, I hope, to those written by Chaucer in his famous Canterbury Tales.

So far the writing's gone swimmingly, with several of my 'Lost' Canterbury Tales having been written up successfully from shorter, abridged versions. However, with my latest story, The Canon's Yeoman's Second Tale, I've run into a problem.

The gist of the problem is that I needed some backstory to the tale I had in mind, yet the backstory ended up being over three thousand words. At this point I sat back reflectively and realised that what I had actually written was a separate story, a sequel which could stand independently on its own - a win-win situation, in fact.

The last third of the tale (which is about a medieval manuscript in case you're wondering about the picture) will need a bit of tinkering with, but once I've changed the ending and pruned that last third down a bit, I reckon I'll have a saleable piece of fiction.

My only regret is that the version of this 'Lost' Canterbury Tale that I submitted to a publisher (and which got rejected the next day) lost the plot towards the end and therefore deserved its rejection letter. However, I've learned from the experience and will hopefully be better at predicting potential plotting problems in future.

Anyhow, here are the opening few lines of the Tale for you:

Sir John de Bourne, crusading in the land
Where Christ once trod, lay bleeding in the sand
Amidst a heap of corpses, friends and foes,
Each with his God and food for hungry crows.
“I’ll tarry here awhile,” the noble knight
Thought sadly as he waited for the light
Of Heaven to embrace him in her womb.
“This desert plain,” he rued, “shall be my tomb.”

(Excerpt ends)

Below are links to my two Global Short Story Competition winners, my short-listed story for the National newspaper, Abu Dhabi, and my Canterbury Tale published by Coscom Entertainment:

http://coscomentertainment.com/?p=159

http://www.globalshortstories.net/winningstoriesjuly09.pdf

http://www.globalshortstories.net/winningstoriesdec09.pdf

http://www.thenational.ae/arts-culture/short-story-a-day-for-decisiveness

Happy writing!

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Prize-Giving Goes off without a Hitch

4/2/2012

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ADNEC

Took the kids (the fan club) with me to Abu Dhabi National Exhibition Centre (ADNEC) for the prize-giving ceremony - I won 5th prize in The National newspaper's short story competition if you didn't know already.

Funnily enough, I was the only male prize winner. The four ladies who also won comprised three Americans and a Lebanese - the later, Kathy Shalhoub, taking away first prize (an I-Pad) for a pretty stunning short story about the end of the world. If I weren't such a strapping macho man, I might well have had a tear in my eye.

Apart from winning a 500 dirham (100 quid) book token, I also got to meet Egyptian writer Sahar El-Mougy who picked the five winning stories from a shortlist of ten. It was interesting to swap information with her about Cairo. I worked there in 1988, had Naguib Mahfouz as a near neighbour and felt like I was describing a place from the history books - a feeling which Ms El-Mougy reinforced by telling me how much Cairo had changed since then.

You can read my story here:

http://www.thenational.ae/arts-culture/books/the-others-by-paul-a-freeman

I'm already looking forward to next year's short story competition. I just hope I can move up the field a bit.

Below are links to my two Global Short Story Competition winners, my short-listed story for the National newspaper, Abu Dhabi, and my Canterbury Tale published by Coscom Entertainment:

http://coscomentertainment.com/?p=159

http://www.globalshortstories.net/winningstoriesjuly09.pdf

http://www.globalshortstories.net/winningstoriesdec09.pdf

http://www.thenational.ae/arts-culture/short-story-a-day-for-decisiveness

Happy writing!

1 Comment

Limericks - Titanic, Easter, and More...!

Canon's Yeoman's Second Tale - Done!

Salvaging a Canterbury Tale - Victory from the Jaws of Defeat?

Prize-Giving Goes off without a Hitch

Paul A. Freeman

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