Festive Limericks - Humbug!

Rudolph

It's that time of the year again, and here in the desert I'm eking out the time watching Netflix Christmassy stuff. Once I get back to town however, it'll be It's a Wonderful Life, Home Alone 2, Jingle All the Way and the animated Scrooge.

Anyhow, I've also been working on festive limericks, two of which are below. The former limerick is due for publication in the Daily Mail. The latter, the Rudolph limerick, alas, proved a bit too fruity for the esteemed daily.

So without any more ado:

Though Christmas is just once a year, 
it isn't a time to hold dear; 
for that red-coated bloke 
who makes everyone broke 
is really a pain in the rear. 

Though ballads of wonder are sung 
of how Rudolph the Reindeer is hung, 
you have to admit 
he's an arrogant shit 
and he smells like a mountain of dung. 

I hope that's put you in the spirit of things.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Below are links to my most recent Global Short Story Competition winning story, my short-listed story for the National newspaper (Abu Dhabi's, annual short story competition) and a story that appeared on the Every Day Fiction site - where you can leave a comment:

http://www.inscribemedia.co.uk/assets/october-ebook.pdf

http://www.thenational.ae/arts-culture/short-story-a-day-for-decisiveness

http://www.everydayfiction.com/the-d-day-diorama-by-paul-a-freeman/#comments

Happy Writing!

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