Paul A. FreemaN - chaucerian inspirations - Blog - Poetry / Limericks, etc

Corona Virus Hand Washing Song - to 'Happy Birthday'

3/13/2020

Wash Your Hands

(To the tune of ‘Happy Birthday’)

Washing hands is the trick,
washing hands is the trick,
the world’s full of germs, but
only some make you sick.

Run a tap and use soap,
run a tap and use soap,
use a bar or dispenser -
if you don’t, you’re a dope.

Wash your palms, fingers, fists,
wash your palms, fingers, fists,
work up a thick lather
till it’s up to your wrists.

Twenty seconds or more,
twenty seconds or more,
then rinse and dry off your hands,
and you’ve shown germs the door.

Below are links to my Global Short Story Competition winning story, my short-listed story for the National newspaper (Abu Dhabi's annual short story competition) and a story that appeared on the Every Day Fiction site - where you can leave a comment:

http://www.inscribemedia.co.uk/assets/october-ebook.pdf

http://www.thenational.ae/arts-culture/short-story-a-day-for-decisiveness

https://everydayfiction.com/respecting-the-dead-by-paul-a-freeman/

Happy writing!

Novel Corona Virus (COVID-19) Sonnet – 29 February 2019

3/1/2020

I’m drinking in an almost empty pub;
the punters perch on barstools, sat alone,
aware a virus spreads where shoulders rub
and hope the TV news is overblown.
Upon the screen we see a global map,
its centrepiece a crouching scarlet beast
with tentacles unravelling to trap
unwary, far flung folk on which to feast.
Japan and South Korea are in its grip,
and Italy, while faraway Brazil
is newly knelt beneath corona’s whip,
to stay until the monster’s had its fill.
This sickness, like Black Death and Spanish flu,
will fade, but first mankind must pay its due.

Below are links to my Global Short Story Competition winning story, my short-listed story for the National newspaper (Abu Dhabi's annual short story competition) and a story that appeared on the Every Day Fiction site - where you can leave a comment:

http://www.inscribemedia.co.uk/assets/october-ebook.pdf

http://www.thenational.ae/arts-culture/short-story-a-day-for-decisiveness

https://everydayfiction.com/respecting-the-dead-by-paul-a-freeman/

Happy writing!

Brexit at the Bulldog Inn

2/2/2020

The Landlord, Nigel

My poem, At the Bulldog Inn, was a joint winner in the Spectator competition, the topic being 'Food Glorious Food'.

Our mission was to write about a meal, channelling the writing through a well known writer, in this case Chaucer.

Since Brexit was looming, I made my entry a Brexit satire, written as if it were part of The Prologue to The Canterbury Tales.

At the Bulldog Inn

We Pilgrims came upon the Bulldog Inn,
an oak-beamed English tavern, and within
the landlord, Nigel, ventured to suggest:
“Our British fare’s the finest to ingest,
and hungriness is written in your eyes.
I’ve sausage rolls, Welsh rarebit and pork pies,
roast beef and Yorkshire puds to fill your face,
or Cornish pasties, chips with cod or plaice;
and washing down the victuals while you dine,
I’ll lay on scrumpy, not some Froggy wine.
For afters, rhubarb crumble, spotted dick,
enough to make a gormandiser sick.
I’ll serve your grub on plates from Stoke-on-Trent,
with knives and forks and spoons that never dent,
forged in the North, from sturdy Sheffield steel;
so let me take the order for your meal.”

“Alas!” quod we. “The hour is early still –
a continental breakfast, if you will.”

Below are links to my Global Short Story Competition winning story, my short-listed story for the National newspaper (Abu Dhabi's annual short story competition) and a story that appeared on the Every Day Fiction site - where you can leave a comment:

http://www.inscribemedia.co.uk/assets/october-ebook.pdf

http://www.thenational.ae/arts-culture/short-story-a-day-for-decisiveness

https://everydayfiction.com/respecting-the-dead-by-paul-a-freeman/

Happy writing!

Harry Goes to Vancouver Limerick

1/21/2020

Good Luck, Fellas

I do wish Harry, Meghan and Archie good luck, and am celebrating with the limerick below:

Prince Harry's no longer a mover;
he lives in suburban Vancouver.
His own socks he's stitching,
he cooks in the kitchen,
and is learning the joys of the Hoover.

Below are links to my Global Short Story Competition winning story, my short-listed story for the National newspaper (Abu Dhabi's annual short story competition) and a story that appeared on the Every Day Fiction site - where you can leave a comment:

http://www.inscribemedia.co.uk/assets/october-ebook.pdf

http://www.thenational.ae/arts-culture/short-story-a-day-for-decisiveness

https://everydayfiction.com/respecting-the-dead-by-paul-a-freeman/

Happy writing!

Waterloo Station Sonnet Wins Competition

1/7/2020

Waterloo Station - 1913

Every month a number of poetry sites select a winning poem and forward it to the Inter-Board Poetry Competition (IBPC). Until last month I had a couple of second and third placed poems, so I was chuffed when my sonnet grabbed first place for December.

The poem is below, followed by the judge's comment:

By Waterloo Station I sat down and thought
(on a bench not too far from the turbulent stream)
of Edwardian London’s once dominant port,
and of trains puffing by, empowered by steam.
The air was redolent of sulphur and soot,
the era of hansoms and carts would soon pass,
the populace mostly traversed upon foot,
while cars were the realm of the privileged class.
Of headgear – like toppers and bowlers and boaters –
the age of King Edward the Seventh was known;
its corseted women aspired to be voters
and seeds of a world conflagration were sown.
This city of spectral, historical shades,
no matter its present, its past never fades.

I have to be consistent in my last month of judging in that I feel the mastery of a sonnet deserves a first place in the winner’s circle. This poet has been paying attention, as this is also about travel and nostalgia. I was happy to read "By Waterloo Station" as it has all the elements that make a poem (and given the added difficulty of fixed form) an outstanding first. ... I wanted to end my stint as judging, this December, with some light. In this sonnet, we also smell the mist of the steam train, and somehow to me, it brings the tidings of the year’s end forward as inevitably (with a bit of a history lesson) we race towards the next decade. All while contemplating the past, on a bench by a "turbulent stream.” I am delighted by this poem. --Laurie Byro

Below are links to my Global Short Story Competition winning story, my short-listed story for the National newspaper (Abu Dhabi's annual short story competition) and a story that appeared on the Every Day Fiction site - where you can leave a comment:

http://www.inscribemedia.co.uk/assets/october-ebook.pdf

http://www.thenational.ae/arts-culture/short-story-a-day-for-decisiveness

https://everydayfiction.com/respecting-the-dead-by-paul-a-freeman/

Happy writing!

United States to Annex Greenland?

12/1/2019

Greenland and the Arctic

Below are links to my Global Short Story Competition winning story, my short-listed story for the National newspaper (Abu Dhabi's annual short story competition) and a story that appeared on the Every Day Fiction site - where you can leave a comment:

http://www.inscribemedia.co.uk/assets/october-ebook.pdf

http://www.thenational.ae/arts-culture/short-story-a-day-for-decisiveness

https://everydayfiction.com/respecting-the-dead-by-paul-a-freeman/For some time it's seemed obvious to me that the United States is gearing up to annex Greenland.

Some time back, Mike Pompeo, the Secretary of State, was blathering on about the benefits of global warming - yep, you heard me right. One such benefit, according to the Secretary of State, is that as the ice around the Arctic melts, so the North-West Passage will open up, allowing sea-going traffic from the North Atlantic to access the Pacific Ocean without needing to pass through the Panama Canal.

Problem is, the Russians, who are just over the other side of the North Pole, have been making noises about having sovereignty over much of the Arctic region. The U.S. would similarly have a sovereignty claim to large swathes of the Arctic region if they had more territory in the region in (they already have Alaska).

Now, remember that Trump suggested the Russians had a sovereignty claim to Crimea because many of the inhabitants spoke Russian and wanted to be part of Russia. Well, expect similar reasoning, though leaning towards Denmark (Greenland's protector) being far away from Greenland and unable to protect Greenlanders from those pesky Ruskies. The US will justifying annexing Greenland by claiming to be the more logical protector, and emphasise the importance of Greenland being a US possession for the security of the Free World, blah, blah, blah.

Anyhow, let's see how the annexation of Greenland plays out!

Below are links to my Global Short Story Competition winning story, my short-listed story for the National newspaper (Abu Dhabi's annual short story competition) and a story that appeared on the Every Day Fiction site - where you can leave a comment:

http://www.inscribemedia.co.uk/assets/october-ebook.pdf

http://www.thenational.ae/arts-culture/short-story-a-day-for-decisiveness

https://everydayfiction.com/respecting-the-dead-by-paul-a-freeman/

World War One Remembrance Day Poem (NEW)

11/10/2019

Wooed by War

by

Paul A. Freeman

Brigades of pals march out like ardent grooms
to nuptial beds dug deeply in a trench;
a duckboard mattress sprung with mud, and booms
of serenading guns can’t dull the stench
of rot and human wastage, while the sludge
conceals assassinating germs that steal
the glimmer of those youths who deathward trudge.
Where thy rose-cheeked bride? Where the bell-tower peal?
Now rifle-wed; now uniformed in serge;
the sky’s marquee rains down upon them shells.
Shrapnel, in confetti bursts, sounds its dirge,
augmented by the gas-alerting bells.
Those men who make it home and take a bride,
what horrors in their wives could they confide?

END

(This poem is in particular a tribute to the memory of Wilfred Owen, war poet, who died bravely just before the War to End All Wars came to an end.)

Below are links to my Global Short Story Competition winning story, my short-listed story for the National newspaper (Abu Dhabi's annual short story competition) and a story that appeared on the Every Day Fiction site - where you can leave a comment:

http://www.inscribemedia.co.uk/assets/october-ebook.pdf

http://www.thenational.ae/arts-culture/short-story-a-day-for-decisiveness

https://everydayfiction.com/respecting-the-dead-by-paul-a-freeman/

Happy Writing!

Respecting the Dead

10/27/2019

Skull and Crossbones Gravestone

My Halloween short story, Respecting the Dead, has been published on the Everyday Fiction site.

The MC is a rather unpleasant sexton at a village church who has little respect for those people buried in the churchyard, and suffers for her disrespect, accordingly.

A link to my short story is below:

https://everydayfiction.com/respecting-the-dead-by-paul-a-freeman/

Below are links to my Global Short Story Competition winning story, my short-listed story for the National newspaper (Abu Dhabi's annual short story competition) and a story that appeared on the Every Day Fiction site - where you can leave a comment:

http://www.inscribemedia.co.uk/assets/october-ebook.pdf

http://www.thenational.ae/arts-culture/short-story-a-day-for-decisiveness

http://www.everydayfiction.com/the-d-day-diorama-by-paul-a-freeman/#comments

Happy Writing!

Rebels on a Train Limerick

10/18/2019

Rebels on a Train

Rebels on a Train Limerick

Before the commuters had blinked,
men mounted the train with arms linked.
Then the transport delay
caused a violent affray
and the guys almost wound up extinct.

Making the public aware of the growing environmental crises around the world is of the utmost importance. So the last thing we want to do is alienate the lay person.

Extinction Rebellion's attempts to shut down the Underground system will have nothing but a negative impact. Protest, yes. Hand out leaflets (on recyclable paper), yes. Preventing the free movement of commuters and school children - a big NO!

Below are links to my Global Short Story Competition winning story, my short-listed story for the National newspaper (Abu Dhabi's annual short story competition) and a story that appeared on the Every Day Fiction site - where you can leave a comment:

http://www.inscribemedia.co.uk/assets/october-ebook.pdf

http://www.thenational.ae/arts-culture/short-story-a-day-for-decisiveness

http://www.everydayfiction.com/the-d-day-diorama-by-paul-a-freeman/#comments

Happy Writing!

Black Face Limerick

9/30/2019

Justin's Makeup Causes a Stir

Black-Face Limerick

His black-painted face was inciting;
the media backlash quite biting.
And so in the end
he chose to defend
the photos by blaming poor lighting.

Well, what can I say but it was an unwise costume the Canadian prime minister wore.

Below are links to my Global Short Story Competition winning story, my short-listed story for the National newspaper (Abu Dhabi's annual short story competition) and a story that appeared on the Every Day Fiction site - where you can leave a comment:

http://www.inscribemedia.co.uk/assets/october-ebook.pdf

http://www.thenational.ae/arts-culture/short-story-a-day-for-decisiveness

http://www.everydayfiction.com/the-d-day-diorama-by-paul-a-freeman/#comments

Happy Writing!