Olympic Limericks

Ye Shiwen - Chinese Swimmer

Well, the Olympics have started and in moments when the muse has struck me I've written a few limericks. The first was based on a news story which said that if the weather was cold and rainy, the beach volleyball ladies might not be wearing bikinis - perish the thought:

At the Twenty-Twelve Games I’ll see red,
If beach volleyball’s fun is struck dead.
The ladies, those meanies,
Might sideline bikinis -
Let’s hope it’s wet T-shirts, instead.

http://uk.eurosport.yahoo.com/news/weather-force-beach-volleyball-cover-095423853.html

The second limerick followed reports that from certain seating areas in the Aquatic Centre it would not be possible to see much of the diving:

I joined the Olympiad bash
for the diving and paid loads of cash.
But I found that my pew
had a terrible view
and all I could see was a splash.

http://uk.eurosport.yahoo.com/blogs/londonspy/refunds-offered-restricted-view-diving-tickets-104815294.html?bcmt_s=e

The third limerick is about the USA swimming coach who raised questions about a young Chinese swimmer's 'unbelievable' performance in the pool. Presumably he wasn't that concerned about Michael Phelps's 'unbelievable performance in the previous Olympics:

The coach of the USA gapes,
coz his team, in the pool, look like apes.
It's losing that bugs,
so he blames it on drugs
as he chews on those sour Chinese grapes.

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/row-erupts-over-chinese-swimming-sensation-051322966.html

As a bonus, there was a strange story from Euro 2012 which caught my eye and set the muse in motion - about the Swedish goalkeeper's buttocks being used for target practice! And I'm not making this up.

I saw something terribly rum -
a keeper whose buttocks were numb.
For latest reports
say he pulled down his shorts
for his teammates to shoot at his bum.

http://uk.eurosport.yahoo.com/14062012/58/euro-2012-swedes-sorry-aiming-goalie-bum.html?act=new-comment&res=ok#co

Well, that's about it for now. More news on The Weaver's Second Tale next week.

Below are links to my two Global Short Story Competition winners, my short-listed story for the National newspaper, Abu Dhabi, and my Canterbury Tale published by Coscom Entertainment:

http://coscomentertainment.com/?p=159

http://www.globalshortstories.net/winningstoriesjuly09.pdf

http://www.globalshortstories.net/winningstoriesdec09.pdf

http://www.thenational.ae/arts-culture/short-story-a-day-for-decisiveness

Happy writing!

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