Suarez Gets Bitey
How could I resist something so topical?
Said Suarez, "I pecked like a hawk,
coz I hadn't a knife or a fork."
Then he told the FA,
"It's true what they say -
a person tastes somewhat like pork."
In addition, last month I went to a conference of English teachers. One presenter was getting all excited at the use of idiom and whether non-native speakers really need to grasp its ins and outs. Anyhow, at least from this workshop I came away with the idea for the limerick below:
Tatiana, a spoilt young brat,
was peeved at her chest being flat.
So her mum, feeling pity,
googled ‘silicone titty’,
then purchased two new tits for Tat.
Did you notice it was Pi Day a couple of months back? I thought not! Anyhow, below is a limerick for the more mathematically minded:
A woman named Pi was once dared,
to be cloned, and then ’twas declared,
without being troubled,
a scientist doubled
each clone – proving two Pi are squared.
Oh, and before you ask me about that Canterbury Tale I wrote last week for a competition - it didn't even make the shortlist. I'd jump out my bedroom window if I didn't live on the ground floor.
Below are links to my Canterbury Tale published by Coscom Entertainment, my most recent Global Short Story Competition winner and my short-listed story for the National newspaper, Abu Dhabi's, annual short story competition :
http://chaucers-uncle.weebly.com/buy.html
http://www.inscribemedia.co.uk/assets/october-ebook.pdf
http://www.thenational.ae/arts-culture/short-story-a-day-for-decisiveness
Happy writing!
Said Suarez, "I pecked like a hawk,
coz I hadn't a knife or a fork."
Then he told the FA,
"It's true what they say -
a person tastes somewhat like pork."
In addition, last month I went to a conference of English teachers. One presenter was getting all excited at the use of idiom and whether non-native speakers really need to grasp its ins and outs. Anyhow, at least from this workshop I came away with the idea for the limerick below:
Tatiana, a spoilt young brat,
was peeved at her chest being flat.
So her mum, feeling pity,
googled ‘silicone titty’,
then purchased two new tits for Tat.
Did you notice it was Pi Day a couple of months back? I thought not! Anyhow, below is a limerick for the more mathematically minded:
A woman named Pi was once dared,
to be cloned, and then ’twas declared,
without being troubled,
a scientist doubled
each clone – proving two Pi are squared.
Oh, and before you ask me about that Canterbury Tale I wrote last week for a competition - it didn't even make the shortlist. I'd jump out my bedroom window if I didn't live on the ground floor.
Below are links to my Canterbury Tale published by Coscom Entertainment, my most recent Global Short Story Competition winner and my short-listed story for the National newspaper, Abu Dhabi's, annual short story competition :
http://chaucers-uncle.weebly.com/buy.html
http://www.inscribemedia.co.uk/assets/october-ebook.pdf
http://www.thenational.ae/arts-culture/short-story-a-day-for-decisiveness
Happy writing!
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